When it comes to wedding gift etiquette, there really are no rules but there are some expectations and social norms to be aware of. Whether you are attending the wedding or not, this guide will help you better understand how to choose your gift, how to stay on budget, and when to break the rules.

The result of all this will be a happy couple with a useful gift that you can afford. 

Perfect (chef’s kiss)!

Respect the Registry

If you are a bridesmaid or if the bride has listed the hottest trend in wedding gifts on her registry, you may be interested in a bride box. Bridal box subscriptions are packed with apparel, items that help the bride and groom celebrate, and resources to help out with the wedding planning process. Options like the miss to mrs bridal box are delivered on a monthly basis as well customized frequencies to line up with the wedding date. Since a wedding subscription box includes planning resources, the bride box should be delivered as early as possible and why this option is an exception to the rule.

Otherwise, the most important rule to follow is respecting the registry. The couple knows exactly what they already have, exactly what they need, and exactly what they like. They put a lot of thought into this list, and have made sure that there is a range of costs to accommodate a variety of budgets. A handcrafted gift is extremely thoughtful. However, it means that the couple will have to go without an item that was meant to help them transition into a married couple lifestyle. 

That being said, you can feel free to purchase the same item from another location at a lower price. What’s important is the item itself, not the specific retailer. In this case, deliver the gift early or notify the couple so that they can remove it from their registry and avoid double purchases. 

Photo credit: Liza Litvinovich

Toronto Wedding Photographer Liza Litvinovich

Circumstance Steers the Way

The most common question about a proper wedding gift is about how much to spend. Your wedding gift cost can contain a lot of variables, but it pretty much boils down to what you can afford. Other factors include:

• How close you are to the couple
  Close and long-term friends and family are expected to put a little more thought into their gifts.
• What you expect the other guests to spend
  The registry will provide you with a good idea on the average gift cost. Combine this knowledge with the social status of other guests and this will provide you with a great target budget.
• The couple’s lifestyle and status
  To be blunt, a Dollar Tree gift just won’t cut it for couples who own the latest gadgets and drive BMWs. Buy within their current standards if you can afford it. Conversely, just because the couple works multiple jobs and is hosting a small wedding doesn’t mean you cannot splurge on their gift. 
• Is this a destination wedding?
  You have already invested a lot of money into attending the wedding. In this case, you are expected to spend less if anything at all.

Wedding gift etiquette goes both ways. The couple is well aware that you are taking time off work, hiring a babysitter, investing in clothing, and sometimes purchasing airfare and accommodations. In situations where guests are already spending a substantial amount of money just to be there, gifts are not expected. Rather, they are a bonus.

At the end of the day, couples know you and your circumstances. Guests with a more modest budget are encouraged to give what they can. To stress the point, in no circumstance should you spend beyond your means. Any gesture will be appreciated and you will not be looked down upon.

Cash Is Great, Most Of The Time

Some couples prefer cash. This format will contribute to a down payment on a home, their honeymoon, a major life purchase, or even a charity if they are the “couple who has everything”. This is especially popular for couples who have already accumulated the majority of their home goods. 

Whatever you contribute, it will go a long way to bring them closer to their dreams. In most cases couples will provide suggested donation levels. You can select from the predetermined options or simply give what you can comfortably afford. 

For those who are wondering if cash is an appropriate wedding gift, put some extra effort into the card! A well-planned, hand written note will most definitely bridge the gap between traditional wedding gifts and modern cash options.

Break this rule when the couple has not specifically asked for it. If they have specifically listed items they need and want, cash will feel inappropriate and lacking in thought.

There’s No “I” In Team

When you want to give a lot but don’t have a lot to give, join forces with other guests. Combining budgets to buy a bigger, better gives means that the couple gets more of what they need while you stay comfortably on budget. 

Just make sure to confirm everything in advance so that there are no future disputes over the chosen item and how much everyone is pitching in.

Invest in Investigation

If you are not sure what to give as a wedding gift and don’t know where to start, it’s time to do a little investigating. When registries aren’t available or when or when you are trying to choose the most impressive item on the list, check out their social media and wedding website. In most cases, they will be talking about things they’ve been wanting or dying to try. Some will say this is a little bit sneaky. We say that it’s the perfect wedding gift hack.

Watch The Clock

If you are wondering when to give a wedding gift, there is never a bad time to contribute to the couples’ happiness. However, if you are aiming to maximize your wedding gift etiquette, send it as early as you can. This makes it easier for the couple to manage their gift registry and make sure purchased items are removed from the list before someone else buys it.

If you are sending a gift after the wedding, do your absolute best to do so within 2 months of the ceremony. 

Author: Svitlana Yefimets

Svitlana is the chief editor and in control of all Wedding Forward content since 2017. She started writing in 2012. She is an expert in details concerning venues, gifts, ceremonies, music, and everything about real weddings. If you want to collaborate with us, send her an email. She spends her leisure tasting dishes, discovering new restaurants, and staying fit through yoga!

Author’s profile photo