Age is just a number — that’s what people say. As long as both parties are mutually respectful and compassionate to one another, their gap of 15 years or more wouldn’t be such a big deal. But do they really work?

It’s not just about those embarrassing encounters when you’re mistaken for your partner’s mom. Problems arise when your interests, beliefs on socio-political issues, and even your love language and communication styles, are conflicting. The younger one may feel more like the older partner’s younger sibling or child, not a lover, whenever he/she feels unheard. The older one may feel a little insecure about his/her younger partner’s group of friends. 

As much as you try not to make your age gap the elephant in the room, these issues further magnify the gap you’re trying not to get in the way.

If you and your partner have a huge age gap, here are 7 tips for bridging that gap and build a stronger connection with each other. 

1. Address family concerns

Family disapproval is one of the most common challenges in relationships with huge age gaps. Instead of ignoring what your families have to say and just accept that reunions will always be awkward, it’s better to try hearing them out and find a solution.

Although it’s difficult, listen carefully to your family and friend’s concerns. Ask yourself if any of their concerns are valid. Respond to their questions calmly, without criticism or defensiveness, and provide clarity. Lastly, express your need for support going forward.

You may even attend online couples counselling to seek professional advice on how to deal with family concerns.

2. Talk about the uncomfortable topics

To navigate an age-gap relationship effectively, couples should have open communication regarding their expectations, as well as theiR age-related concerns. 

Do you plan to have more children? What if your lover, who is twice your age, can’t conceive children or can’t afford to raise kids? Do you accept your role as a caretaker should your aging spouse need long-term health care in the future? Are you ready to face the possibility of growing old alone? 

Sure, you’re too in love to worry about these possibilities. But what about 20 or 30 years from now? Before tying a knot, it’s important to discuss each other’s expectations and make sure you’re on the same page. 

3. Treat your partner equally

Know that age isn’t the only measurement of maturity. If you’re the older person in the relationship, you should view your partner as a full-grown adult, not someone to teach, mold, and scold. Even if you’re 20 years older than your partner, acknowledge their points of view and where they’re coming from. Likewise, if you’re the younger one, don’t call your partner “boomer”, “oldie”, or any other phrase that implies how outdated their outlook is. 

4. Focus on similarities, not differences

What are the things you have in common? Do you enjoy the same activities? Do you share the same values as well as the same drive for success? Instead of focusing on your age gap, spend time on your mutual interests and doing the things you both love. Even if he loves Bon Jovi and you love Ariana Grande, your shared passion for music is enough to bridge your differences. 

5. Explore each other’s worlds

Be more involved in each other’s lives. Meet your partner’s friends. Try new things that your generation isn’t accustomed to, just to better understand your partner’s way of life. Compromising can be empowering for both parties. 

6. Look at your age difference as an advantage

Bridging the gap doesn’t necessarily mean you should always strive to act the same age to keep up with each other’s level of maturity. Acknowledge each other’s unique traits and see how they can work as an advantage to your relationship. 

Each other’s strengths might make up for your individual weaknesses. For instance, your older partner’s age-earned wisdom, emotional availability, and calmness may help when it comes to making life decisions and building your career. Your vitality and enthusiasm, on the other hand, may remind him of the importance of spontaneity in life.

7. Strengthen your relationship

If you’re fighting every day, then chances are that age alone isn’t the only culprit. You need to establish a strong and physical connection, which is the most important part of any relationship.

Communicate effectively. Learn to admit mistakes and apologize. Keep things exciting. Support each other’s endeavors. Compliment each other. Make each other feel respected and cared for. Laugh more often.

As long as both parties share mutual love and respect, age will remain nothing but a number.

Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for Relationship Room Couples Counseling, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. She may be hopeless romantic but she’s got some straightforward pieces of advice about love, dating, and relationships.